Fight for that

Fight for that

Everybody has a dream. Somebody wonders how it’s like to be a rich and famous, somebody just wants to fuck around. The wishes and desires are usually so incredible high, so impossible to make them true. I have a few like that, but that’s not the point though. I really wish I could live in a wolrd when everybody could communicate witch each other and verbalize what they really want. Simple? Oh I just should ask about world’s peace?

My work could be a lot eaier if everybodu who I talk to could listen what exactly I would like to say. I’m not talking about being polite or nice. Sometimes you have to be rude or extremly unkind, just the world works that way, but could you KNOW what are you talking about?

Don’t fuck with Iragi children

Iraq issues or watch your back

This is my rifle. This is my gun. And this is my country so fuck off.

Why everybody think that American vision of democracy is the best one? Why everybody think that culture of cowboys and bold emigrants top the others? And why the biggest country where still are reserves for Native Americans goes to completely  different place to share its wisdom and thoughts about live? Iraq or Afghanistan have their 3000 years old history and culture. People think different, have their habits, their tradition. You cannot change that witch bunch of marines and few billion dollars. You caanot change just because many warriors before you tried it and failed. Just simple as that.

Oh I know, Poland is there with you,  few of my friends are there exposed to risk. They don’t talk about freedom, about fighting for their country. Don’t wave the white-red flag singing national anthem. They just driving around, armed and dangerous knowing perfectly well why they are there. For money. For cash. For dollars. Because our country needs US support. Because that’s the world works. One of my friend, great soldier (incredible hot I have to admit), told me he even doesn’t prey. “It’s cheating on God” he said ” How can you ask Him about anything if you’re in this shit just because some rich people want to be richer?”.

Simple as that. I’m disillusioned. That’s just a work, horrible work. You need to shoot, you need to drink hard. You need to watch. You need to earn cash.

I’m not really against the war. It’s not about freedom and everybody should let these people live their life without asking about anything. We used to live in communist country and nobody went shouting and shooting about letting us free. We did only by themselves when the time was right and people were so determined to take their future in their hands. You cannot push something like that. And US army certainly does push.

But you know? Iraqi children don’t need or want your definition of freedom. They have their own and are probably pissed off as hell about your actions and behaviours.  You would be too.

Just imagine. One sweet little Polish army land up somewhere – for example in California, and does a speech about how your state laws are wrong, gun access is wrong and you really need a help becaouse you fucked up everything in last 50 years. They argue we had different rules, better ones.  How many of you would go run to your homes and pick up every single piece of firearm you have?  So you have the view.

The most important thing is that whole row isn’t about freedom and democracy, it’s about money and rope. Only about that. You want to fight for that? Fine. Then don’t cry after your solders because it’s their job, they are there for cash doing what they have to do. Don’t demonstrate because you have almost the cheapest gasoline in entire world and all of you want to stay it that way. It’s not about war and love. Only about American dollars.

And so we all need them.

Sometimes book could look and smell like cheap whore

Why I hate the libraries

There were times when I had to go to library every week. Honestly – I really had to when I was studying, and it wasn’t something I loved very much. When you are going to make Master’s degree, especially write MA thesis about English and Polish literature, you have to adore this building and all the people who work there. I wasn’t. I’m not and never will. Why?

First I had to wait for long long hours all by myself for my turn and was too embarrassed to pick up one of my own books, because I used to read a lot of fantasy in my spare time, not really sophisticated books and everybody gave me that looks like I was a kinky killer. Don’t even think about magazine, specially the gossip one. I’m a simple girl and I have a really good fun reading stupid things and I knew I need to read a lot more not funny at all. Sometimes important, but mostly not interesting at all. Every single male student there was so into himself and thought he’s God’s gift to world so I really wanted to vomit after first look on them. Every single female student was so excited about meeting all this great intellectual boys, so they were giggling all the time and pointing a finger at every more on less handsome one, so I couldn’t really talk with them. It was horrible. Everybody acted like idiots and the worst thing was I had to though.

But no one really goes to the library hoping meet anyboody nice and fine to talk with. Not in Europe. Ok, not in Poland. We really have to go there because of our lessons. I know pretty much better place to meet people, believe me.  The most important things are books and knowledge.

The books are the worst part really. I love fresh brand new books, its smell, the touch of new paper. I’m aberrant and I have to buy my book before reading it. Now I have about 3.000 books in my home. I even bought an apartment designed specially  for huge books collection. Every used book has something common with cheap whore. Many people know how it’s like to touch this particual pages. Somebody write stupid notes on margins. The pages are sticky and dirty. Sometimes I was so disgusted to touch these books. You know, I was working on 200old sometimes. Not really a pleasure. I was excited. For a hour. One fucking hour only.

I do prefer virgins. Book virgins. All mine.

Did I mention I never borrow my books to anyone, even my best friends? I prefer to buy them another copy (if I really want them to read something) and let my own for myself.

So it was pure torture.

I did it, I wrote whole 200 pages of my MA thesis. I spent about 500 hours in uniwersity and nation libriaries. When I was a kid, I wondered how it’s like. The calm, the old fashioned green lights (why always green? Din’t get  it), wooden desks.  Now I know. Never more.

Probably that’s why I work with new media.

Any collector here?

Hollywood isn't gay, is it?

So just a thought. Is anybody in damn Hollywood straight? Anybody not brave enough to say “I’m boy and I like girls”? Or something? It’s fucking scary! I’m not able have a damn crush on any handsome male flash. I found few ones very fuckable and then gossip columns brought me the news “He’s gay”. Or at least bi! What’s the problem people?

Yes, I read sometimes Ted C.’s column. Also Perez’s and other famous fabulous bloggers, so I do know all that stuff, true or false, I HAVE the KNOWLedge. Mostly just because you need to do something during your first coffee at work at 8 AM. I used to read RSS  news only but it was so depressing so I had to stop and found something more adorable. Hey, Iraq’s cause is so overrated, so are local news. Whatever. I have to stop, I know. It’s not healthy.

So yeah, I heart all that stuff, he is, she is, all that fucking folks are just freakin’ pretenders.  I doubted it all at first, coz it’s not fucking possible. Everybody should see something and spread the world if it was the truth. But when I read all over again the same stories, I wonder why all that bitchy celebz didn’t sue the bastards? Everybody could just post on blog the personal list with all surnames and pictures? How it could be possible?

There’re a lot of shitty posters, who babbling about their hook ups with some celebrities. I don’t blame them. Everybody has a fantasy and somebody wants to live in its world. But then, I’m asking one more time – where are your fucking lawyers? You are fameous and rich as fucking Satan himself.  You could fight with every fucking tabloid just because they show the world your morning pic without makeup. So what’s the problem? Your Armani fans don’t earn enough to chase and kill few of them at least? Don’t get them.

There’s a possibility the Hollywood is gay. Hey, I’m simple European Girl and I’m devoted label collector (yeah I should run the term by you, I know). Few friends of mine is declared and succcesful starfuckers, oh yes, European ones, so maybe not exactly straight but very much indeed. Should I tell them to change their preferences? Or hunt in another teams?

I know how this world works. I’m not a fucking kiddo, so It’s obvious to me celebz couldn’t be honest with all us, casual people. Few of them were, though, and I didn’t see the happy end. I do understand that really. How I could believe in shitty lovestory if the main character is played by hardcore gay boy and I DO know he isn’t atrractive to all fucking girls around? I don’t denied that some guys, gay or not, could do their work perfectly – can ACT. But something inside me doesn’t let me believe in their lines, their creations. Let’s be honest – it’s bothered me really when I see the movie. I don’t give a shit what they do or not do in their bedrooms. It’s probably mostly a guys problem, because I don’t mind if an actress is gay, bi or not. But well – whole fucking world doesn’t care and from the very much beginning finds two kissing girls hot.

So any starfuckers there to confirm or deny it?

So you wanna be a gay’n'roll star

The L word cast - final season

Few weeks  ago my very annoying but lovely friend brought me some dvds  “just in case you’ll have some spare time”. I haven’t had a spare time without fighting of it since 1988, so I just gave her a bitchy look, and said just to fuck off. She was so excited just like she just gave me a diamond nacklace, so I politely asked her what the fuck it is. “A lesbian series!” she answered and started talking about it like it was the best show ever. I was sceptical, but promised I’ll watch it, just because I wanted her go away and stop chripinng like a fucking bird. I wasn’t gonna do it – I’m a bitch I know,  but in the middle of the night when I was  finishing one of the projects and hadn’t actually anything new to watch, so I did put this shit into the player.

So “L word” is a quite unique story about that girl, Jenny, who moved in Los Angeles, oh sorry, Los Lesbianes.  She is so fucking shy and innocent so she even gives a head to her handsome boyfriend first outing every single light. The very first thing in LA what she saw, was two casual girls fucking each other in a backyard pool. She is so distracted so she starts considering if she’s gay. US people, you don’t have porn channels there? You really have to move to LA to see two girls in a fucking pool?

Whatever. Jenny finds out – and we find out with her – that no one single girl in LA is straight. Some are bisexual, but probably just pretending to have babies or something. Every fucking woman, white, black or green are gay. Probably every dog, cat or even rat or mosquito are gay. That’s how there aren’t so much animals around them. Pure innocent Jenny  meets a lot lesbians everywhere she goes, so it’s obvious she thinks that something is wrong with her. I would do either if every my girl friend was into girls. She discovers that she isn’t straight and cheats on her boyfriend with beautiful, tall brunette, Marina.  Oh, did I mention that every lez girl is totally hot? So you see. Only poor and ugly are straight in that story.

The boyfriend isn’t very happy about the burnette, so Jenny has to moved out in his house (cruel bastard!) so she socialices with all the girls even more. Oh he tries to do something about but Jenny plays for other time since she has put her foot on California ground, so only thing he could do is just fuck off. And he does so.  Jenny has few friends like Shane, who fucks every femmale not running fast enough, Bette and Tina (sweet, standard & normal couple so in love that cheating on each other almost every season and have a babygirl, but who cares), Alice (annoying but friendly girl who supposed to be bisexual as far I know, but I didn’t see that really), Dana (tennis player, who suddenly dies after few seasons probably just because she was happy in a lesbian relationship) and Kate (Bettie’s older sister who surprisingly is straight but dates drag kings or male baby sitters and is an alcohol addict and former jazz star). There are few more girls just becouse Shane has to fuck at least few ones every episode, like Carmen (really fine DJ, happily not based on Samantha Ronson’s style), Max (who used to be a woman, but prefers to be a pregnant man), Jodi (nice gal and terrible artist) and Helena, really nasty bitch who is still trying to be funny (she isn’t) and shows her own version of the Princess and the Pauper fairy tale. We meet Helena’s and Alice’s mothers who, as you can figure out, aren’t and never was prefectly straight.

Wierd enough? Not really.  I introduced you the main characters, not the outstanding plot.

And here we go. Jenny enthusiastically fuckes Marina (the brunette, who supposed to work on her own coffee shop, but as the rest of the characters almost not working at all), but the burunette mentions  after a few weeks that she has a girlfriend.  Jenny is  devastated, but her devoted friends are pretty much suprised what’s up and how she didn’t know that. So if you have an affair in LA with a gay girl you should be sure that she is taken. Plus nobody would inform you about it because it’s so obvious.  Jenny is so depressed and moves to her family’s place to find peace and calm . Bette, sophisticated manager of LA art gallery cheats on Tina with some femmale plumber, doesn’t really care her girlfriend is pregnant. Shane just fucks around and is still dumbfounded that every bitch talks with her about love and relationship. Maybe the weed she smokes all the time has something to do with her way of thinking, I don’t really know. Alice wants to think straight and act straight so she finds a boyfriend who is actually a lesbian and called himself Lisa or something. Dana plays tennis, comes out to her parents with absolutely standard way – she shows them Subaru flyer with her picture and mysterious claim  (or it was a magazine ad, don’t remember).  It should be very helpful to every closeted lesbian, wondering how to tell the world about it. Her mother doesn’t want to accept that (Dana’s sexuality not a the flyer)  because when she was very young she has a girlfriend and was riding horses with her (I don’t lie, really really). Dana is so depressed but still wants to date some readhead cookie and all the girls help her with that.  Dana is torturing herself if this girl’s gay or not, but as I said, no one is straight, so this one is no exception. After the whole drama, tears, speeches and other stuff, Dana breaks up with her new girlfriend because they cannot go on some stupid charity party together or something. Dana isn’t single very long time because she meets a terrible annoying girl (don’t remember her name, sorry). They propose to each other and plan a wedding even after this girl kills Dana’s cat.  Alice, who suppose to be bisexual or even straight as she declares, cannot stand it and confides her true love to Dana (why now?). So they fuck and make all the preparations in their spare time. Meanwhile Dana’s mother accepts her choice and goes for a lap dance (!) with her daughter-in-law and they both have really good fun watching the streaptease and dirty dances.

Jenny is still in the plot, already sitting in her parent’s house and thinking about being Jewish. She makes collages with her old family pictures, cuts her hair and goes insane. She meets a girl, who calls herself Max, because she wants to be a male, oh more, male programmer on a software corporation, and his/her skills are based to code html pages.  Jenny and Max are together but don’t making sex because Max is refusing to have a femmale orgasm and doesn’t have an opportunity to have a male one. Jenny has some strange pseudo artistic visions and of course is going crazy even more (I wasn’t really suprised about that). Plus she decides to be a real writer (she was writing something in her shed before, but was still distracted by Marina and lots of lesbian sex) and states to create a unbelievably horrible nonsenses based on her visions and dreams. She makes Max to move back to California, so they do.

Bette and Tina have a tough time, after Tina finds out about her partner’s affair. They break up and the pregnant one starts to date a multimillionaire Helena Peabody (yay, I remember her surname!). Helena also has two kids, but that doesn’t bother her at all. They fuck usually in the pool (what’s about that sex in the water?), but Betty is stubborn as hell and does everything to get Tina back. She get it after few very long episodes full of drama and Tina gives a birth to a child and everybody is happy. Till the brilliant moment when Tina uses her girlfriend’s mac to chat on porno website for some straight cyber sex. Bette finds out about that but mother of their child gladly informs her that she wants a real cock, so it’s pretty much difficult for Bette to do so.  Helena Peabody who is sill around them, but her children gladly dissapeared a while ago, offers Tina a job. You know, Tina has powerful experience – she mostly cooks, washes, cleans her and Bette’s house, but her former lover insists her to be a lead executive producer in Peabody movie production company. Tina takes that and meets some casual guy on her brand new office. So this time Tina cheats on Bette and everything is fucked up again.

Helena has a romance with a married director (girl of course) and after few fucks she is blackmailed by her lover’s husband. Poor rich girl is alleged of sexual harassment and so she has to pay of course. Her mother, another former lesbian, is really mad about that and takes back all her billions. She informs her daughter, that she has to know how it’s like to live on her own without paying few billions for sex with not really attractive woman.

Shane meets Carmen and first time in her life is in love, but Carmen cheats on her. Shane doesn’t really care about that and proposes to her.  They go to Canada with all their friends including Helena, who is paying for all that trip and the wedding stuff. Then, suddenly, Shane meets her father (you see how far away you have to go if you are a straight man and want to hook up with some nice girl?) and has a small talk with him about fucking every single woman. Her dad convinces her that all that wedding stuff and being marry sucks, so Shane goes back to US, without letting anyone to know but Alice, who has to talk to everyone including Carmen wearing her pretty nice white dress. So the last thing Helena Peabody is paying for, is just a total crap and  fucked up. As usual. Plus during the ceremony without happy ending, Bette kidnapes her own daughter from Tina and runs away, because her former girlfriend decides to start a relationship with previously mentioned man.

Max and Jenny are still together, but Max insists on becaming guy and, like a real man, is trying to beat, hit or kick everything what he/she sees. Jenny is suprised (again), has more visions (including black birds and circus visitations), and breaks up with Max after catching him/her cheating. What’s really funny Max didn’t cheat for real, because some stranger guy gay just sucked Max’s plastic dummy of pennis, so it shouldn’t count, but whatever. Jenny chooses a new path in her life – she decides to be a bitch. First she publishes a novel, witch is supposed to be fictional, but she portayes all her friends on that.  She meets an old millionaire and convinces him to pay for film version (It’s so easy n Hollywood) her outstanding book. There’s only one producer in this fucking world and it’s Tina of course, who has to work with Janny and hates her to death.

Meanwhile Dana breaks ups with her fiancee and still fuck with Alice, but somehow she meets again that redhead, who dated few seasons before. So she leavers Alice and fucks that head chief again. Alice is so depressed, prints huge ass poster of Dana and talks to it. Friends want to help her, but they don’t really know how (I wouldn’t either). Dana isn’t very happy after all, becouse she discovers she has a breast cancer. Readhead leaves her and goes to Paris and relaxes in some spa. Dana is depressed, Alice is depressed, Jenny is still insane. Then Dana dies without any particular reason. Alice is more depressed and arranges a trip to the woods (the lesbian graveyard probably) where she wants to spreads Dana’s ashes. They do it and everybody is happy again.

Bette gets her head out of her ass and back with her child and so she and Tina became friends. Bette starts to date Jodi, eccentric hippie, who mostly welds the scaffoldings and calls it an art. Jodie is very attractive although she’s deaf so at least Bette has something more to do with her fingers than just fuck. Plus Bette admires Jodi’s work, I don’t really know why, but she’s crying when she see a blured pics with some naked girl, so I shouldn’t be suprised. Tina breaks up with her man, and lives alone with her daughter, still being such a good friend to Bette. Of course it doesn’t take a long and these two are fucking each other, cheating on Jodie this time. They’re yattering about “coming home” and “outstanding love”, but still are unfaithful. Jodie finds out of course and – you know what – isn’t happy.  But in the end Bette and Tina back together.

Alice meets some extraordinary, completely not a stereotype girl, who is a marine and occasionally has a trip to Iraq or Afghanistan. Tasha is really nice and sweet girl and she looks straight as arrow, but she lives in LA so doesn’t have choice. They hang out together and starts a relationship, which cures Alice’s pain after Dana. It all works fine until they meet another girl, a social worker I suppose, who messes around and falls in love with Tasha, so Alice is single again. And of course unhappy – a gay girl’s permanent state.

Max, who takes his hormones and has an impressive beard, dates a gay guy and feels even more manly than ever before. They fuck all the time and suddenly Max discovers he’s pregnant. “HOW?” he asks in despair. Yeah, how for God’s sake? The guy leaves him, not ready for that charade of family so Max is another one who’s depressed. His beloved friends understand him completely, so organize a party, giving him crawlers, blankets and teddy bears for his unborn child. Nice gesture in this sick situation isn’t it?

An there’s one I forgot about. Bette’s boss, Phyllis, cames out as a lesbian and fucks as more girls as she can, but is so mad about her own daughter, fucked by Shane. So the gayness is in genes and there’s an evidence.

Jenny works on the movie, mostly making everybody mad and fucks everything she touches. The movie is called “The Lez Girl” and its plot is based on first season of  this serie.  Pretty confusing I know. Jenny fucks one of the main star, Nikki, who used to pretend she’s straight. Nikki of course cheats on Jenny with Shenny, so another couple break up. The movie is censored and the producers (not Tina o course) insist on happy ending, that the main character should go back to her lovely boyfriend instead of fucking the “Marina” one. Jenny isn’t happy about it so she steals the negative of the movie (simple thing, just to get a few boxes of film from the well security studio). She also declares her great love to Shane, because she has been in love with her from the begining (huh?), so has Shane (huh again?). They live together, but Jenny insists to be a bitch.  She saw Bette with some girl so she’s blackmailing her. Tina loses her job because of Jenny’s stealing, Nikki is pretty much pissed of about that “I’ve always loved Shane” thing and wants a revenge, Alice hated Jenny just because she steals her ideas for first movie script. Hmmm… let’s say everybody hate Jenny just because she exist.

So Jenny dies. In the middle of the party she just drowns in the backyard pool (yeah, this one is very famous place) and nobody knows why. Everybody think she might commited suicide just because she was a bitch. Or gay. Or straight girl living at LA. Don’t know. Bette and Tina have another child and move to NY, Alice is single and so is Shane, Helena meets her sweet married girl, who fucked her live while ago and they are together. And that’s how the show ends.

I was watching that for four days. Pretty short time for 6 season show, but believe me, you need to wind forward a lot of lesbian sex scenes just to catch a short dialogue.

So, let’s make a quick summary:

- Don’t even think about moving to LA if you wanna be straight

- Don’t move to LA because you’ll discover that you’re gay, and will be obviously unhappy your whole life, who will be quite short, becouse you’ll certainly die in a bakyard pool, but previously lose your mind. No happy endings.

- Don’t move to LA because your mom will tell you a story about her lesbian relationships (or even the lesbian fucks) and you really don’t want to hear that, believe me.

- If you’re a gay girl living in LA you fuck more than whole male football team, mostly cheating of your actual girlfriend, who also will cheat on you of course. But probably it won’t be a reason not to marry.

- If you’re living in LA, you don’t have any casual friend who understand your feelings, probably just because  they all smoke too much weed every day.

- It you’d be living in LA, no matter what you do for life, you won’t be able to work, because you”ll fuck entire time.

- Every sigle gay girl in LA is stunning, sexy and hot but also insane.

- If you wanna change your sex and live in LA you’ll get pregnant with no particular reason and will wonder how it exactly happened.

- It’d be rather difficult to find anybody straight around you even if you’ll try as hell.

Showtime, my really fav US channel produced this show, so technically it’s really great. Music, shots, sounds and postproduction are quite impressive (not all the time, but it has its moments). The cast did a magnificent work – it has to be incredible hard to act natural and follow that ridicolous plot. Even the sex scenes were pretty much tasteful and nice, but boring to death after all. Even the products placements didn’t bothered me so much,because they did it right.

But one final question – why you spent so much on your drugs screenplay’s ladies? WHY?

Hello to you too

Hallo to you to you angry wolves

I will be very suprised if someone gonna read thins, but it wont stop me of writing. I’m not a famewhore, so I don’t believe that lots of comments will inspire me. Whole fucking world is inspiring me enough. I’m not gonna write a journal. It’s tempting, but no, I’ll keep my pervs for my (but not only mine) eyes and ears. My typping is terrible, but I dont give a shit about that. If I had to glaring and to trace every ficking letter, I’ll go insane or sped a whole week doing it. I really have more interesting things to do though.

And I;m not also bitchy stalker, not a fucking poster and glamour shit. Do believe I’m not normal, becouse people who are, bored me to death. I’ll not entertaine you. I’ll not make you cry becouse of my helpless life – I’m glad what I have and what I do, so no emo shit this time. I do not really want to spend thaousends of hours writing the worst poetry man ever known and I don’t belive I’m a angel, demon or Hitler reborn.

So what you’ll find there? Probably my angry thoughts mostly, just becouse I usually write when I’m pissed off. It could be controversial, but I don’t care. Probably it wont be politically correct, so what. I do not pretend I’m somebody else not just becouse it’s lame. I don’t know your life (could you know somebody’s life entirely?) and you don’t really know me, so you simple cannot judge me as I dont judge you.

I had few blogs before but I got bored and deleted them. If I wll this time, I’ll repeat the operation.